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To really “get” Eagles football, you’ve got to surrender to The Sage…

They call the wind “Mariah”… and they call the Sage “JB”…

Look, you can get your Eagles football analysis from the C3PO’s over at Philly.com… or you can get the heart and the guts of the sport from JB…

First thing, you must divorce your mind from the notion that you know anything about the sport of NFL Football at all… cleanse your spirit of all pre-assumptions… then prepare to absorb.

Then, and only then, are you ready to sit at the feet of the great JB— short for JeromeBrown99— possibly the sharpest Eagles football poster and pundit currently on the planet of Earf.

Oh sure, Bri (GK Brizer) and legendary poster Leo Pizzini, both of PE.com’s “On The Inside” archives, definitely give The Sage a run for the money.  As a trio, they formed a Trinity of football wisdom at Spadaro’s “On The Inside” gallery for many an enlightening year…And it is my hope Spuds will give them all a warm homecoming invitation once he restores his site to the classic format we all loved.

Until that happens, we can only retell the Gospel of their works here…and memorialize it for future generations of Bird-brains…

JB has had an interesting physical metamorphosis over the years… his appearance has changed many times since his playing days at Nebraska…oh, did I mention he has a Nebraska football pedigree as an NCAA fullback with two national championship rings to his credit? Well, there you have it…

Modesty prevents JB from revealing his true identity… but I have it on some authority he was a member of the 1994-1995 NCAA championship Huskers’ roster…

Quite a journey of collegiate football adventure it was for JB and the Huskers program, interrupted only by his love for family, who needed him to transfer to a college near Austin, Texas, so he could oversee the clan’s newfound fortune in oil and gas royalty properties…

A successful earthworm farm venture soon followed.

Tragically, JB’s boyhood love for the Philadelphia Eagles was interrupted by a series of genetic and environmental transformational changes.

As a young high school student-athlete, JB dreamed of sharing a locker room with his Eagles hero, the since-departed Jerome Brown:

Reconciling himself to the reality of his post-collegiate responsibilities to his family estate, JB settled down into a semi-retired existence with regards to football, although he was often sought out by NFL Draft columnists for his scouting insights…

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But horribly, a tragic accident on a visit to the Netherlands to tape a Dr. Pepper commercial resulted in a film studio accident, in which JB injured his back and caught himself afire in a klieg light, causing a sudden change in his post-op appearance… and current rumors circulating of skin-bleaching and hyperbaric chamber usage…

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Thus we have today the enigma of JB99…who despite his triumphs and travails in the real world, still challenges all Eagles fans to embrace the concept of Team Improvement…. and self-improvement when it comes to qualifying as a knowledgeable fan of the sport.

Here are some examples of how JB shakes down the average “Philly.com” Eagles fan reality..his observations after Game 1 in 2010 against the Green Bay Packers:

“…all those media lemmings cuss and b17ch right after the game. So I would now like to take the time to tell those that don’t know… YOU CAN’T TELL SH** WATCHING A GAME ONE TIME! NOT EVEN THE GREATEST COACHES AND FOOTBALL MINDS ON THE EARF WILL HAVE ANYTHING TO SAYUNTIL THEY BREAK IT DOWN! So… anyone claiming anything before Tuesday… knows nothing. Literally… nothing.”

“So… you guys are complaining because we didn’t run it enough… even though we had their D gassed and got 279 2nd half yards? Welp… all I can say is… keep wishing. === But for cripes sake… don’t try to turn us into the Jets. Their O scheme is horrible… Very embarrassing to watch…”

“Anyone questioning Reid’s timeouts are effin stupid. No other way to put it. All the people that know football were sending me messages after the game giving Reid props. Listen… Reid, by taking the TO’s with’s 5 mintues,  was giving the D more chances for a stop, and a possible GB turnover… Had they gotten another 1st down… we still would have had 1 TO and the two-minute warning… meaning that ultimately… if things went as planned…”

“The 4th down call was there. I don’t care what anyone says. They had 6 on the LOS… we had 6 blockers with Vick as the carrier. There’s no doubt it was a check play. If we had them outnumbered…. it was the QB blast we saw. But had they outnumbered us… Vick would have thrown towards whomever Sam Shields had. Probably Avant. And if they stacked it up inside… we would have swept it. === Really funny to see people say… ‘that was a horrible call!’… like it was 100% QB blast no matter what. They’re all media lemmings. They act like we didn’t have options to check to.”

“Vick is a weird deal. Totally unconventional. He’s pretty inaccurate. If you hated #5 not hitting guys in stride… you’ll hate Vick. But he can make all the throws and is a quick decision-maker. But the big thing is… Vick makes the defensive pressure a plus for us… not them. Like that DT of theirs’ said after the game… paraphrasing here… but he said… that Vick is a nightmare for defenses… no duh there… but then he said that it’s actually better to keep your rush lanes than make a quick move to beat your guy up front… simply ’cause Vick will kill you if he has a lane. And when you think about it… lots of our big plays came after big pressure from GB. Vick also made all those big bad LB’s GB has look like they were standing still. But by far the best plays Vick made were the 3 or 4 plays where he stood in there whilst about to get crushed and delivered big time throws. Those are the plays you need to win in the NFL…”

“A few more observations for the peasants. === (1) Nate Allen played a solid game… especially for a rookie’s 1st game. But that long TD he gave up to Jennings was an awful play. He wasn’t even close, with his only duty being to not let anyone get deep in that Cover2. No double move or anything… Jenningsjust ran right by him. A little worries about that. === (2) Nick Cole is a scrapper. But he just misses some things sometimes… That RG spot is a spot we’ll need to upgrade next year. He did play well, though, with more than a few crushing blocks. (3)I watched the game once focusing on Peters. Wow! That guy is one good football player. Such a pleasure to watch him play. He had another false start… of course… and a holding penalty…. but he’s a great player and certainly our best OL. (4) #96, I am worried about. Deja vu? He looked pretty bad. Even when he was lucky enough to be in position… he usually couldn’t make the play. Bad game by him… no other way to put it…”

“… my advice would be to try and enjoy life… use that noggin a little and realize that Reid’s O has beaten some of the best D’s around. Try and watch a football game without hate. Be proud of the Eagles… for they give it their all for you every year. Don’t want to win to the point where things aren’t fun. Relax. Let the Eagle players and coaches do their job and enjoy the ride…

….And now what you have all been waiting for! JB99’s Official 2011 Mock Draft! === 1st round) Prince Amukamara CB, Nebraska (2) Roy Helu RB, Nebraska (3) Dejon Gomes CB, Nebraska (4) Alex Henerey K, Nebraska === That’s as far as I have gotten to this point. Youse like?

 I’ve been saying this is a two year fix it from the beginning. But so far… I like what I see. Add 2 more CB’s… get a good solid DT… a big time RG… and another LB… and we are looking good! Can’t wait till next FA period! E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES! “


If I remember nothing else from JB’s sage commentary in 2010, it will be that post-game review of the opener against the Packers…and how dramatically it played into what’s happening right now…the MACH 10 challenge and the NFL Draft of 2011.  Talk about connected to the reality of the game….JB is way ahead of all of us.  And I will forever remember his favorite words of fan advice—“Don’t Be A Slave To The Media!”…. maybe that should be on a T-shirt somewhere. I would buy it…and wear it.

 

Thomas Jackson

About Thomas Jackson

Jax Sports Media has been reporting on NFL teams in the mid-Atlantic region since 2006. Thomas Jackson is its senior writer. Tom started covering the Philadelphia Eagles for the MVN Network in 2007. In 2009 he joined the Bloguin Network. He now also covers the Baltimore Ravens.

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