Bryce Brown and his beloved pit bull female pet dog "Ellis" are completely innocent of everything.
I apologize for even thinking for a second that we had another "dog-fighting" scandal in the works, as The Sporting News first implied about 18 hours ago when it broke the story.
There is no dog-fighting ring involved. Bryce Brown sent his baby girl Ellis to his vet/breeder in Wisconsin for assistance in the whelping of her AKC-certified brood of puppies.
End of story… at least until the breeder was suddenly invaded by local authorities intent upon following up a complaint about a ring-worm infection at the kennels. No dog-fighting ring…just a ring-worm deal.
I am ashamed of myself and ashamed of The Sporting News at this time. How sad that I was sucked into this rumor… I apologize to Bryce Brown and to every member of this Bored for my willingness to even consider the possibility of a dog-fighting scandal based upon the early reports we received.
No excuses— just starved for news.
There's Bryce with Ellis and his fiancee, who's holding another pup, too. Their dogs are lovers, not fighters.
So shame on me for even thinking for a second that there was an actual story there. It's a great lesson in the first principle of journalism, which is to never assume a conclusion to a story until all the facts are in… and I might add, to avoid "profiling" at all costs.
On that note, I apologize to Sonny Buttafuoco, aka "Sunbutts", also known as "Mr. Warmth" and a long-time contributor to this Bored of Eagles' fans.
In an unusually playful mood yesterday, I created the nickname "The Fresh Wince of Bad Air" for Sonny.
Meant to be a compliment in a gangsta sort of way, I can see now I was off base.
First off, Sonny always smells good.
Secondly, he hangs in there with tenacity. He takes the heat. He extends pitch counts. He's the kind of player you might hate until he's actually on your own team—kinda like Pete Rose was.
Perhaps a better way to visualize the "Tartuffe" (as he has been christened by Brizer) is to refer to the old "Smurfs" cartoon series.
If Brizer is "Papa Smurf", then Sonny is surely "Gargamel". United by starring on the same show—but at odds over their ultimate desires for the direction of the show.
It's okay. As Leo Pizzini once wrote, "You need a guy like Sonny… he's a focal point for emotional transfer. He's the ultimate intelligent villain. And you can't have super-heroes without super-villains."
Point taken, Leo.
Heroes and villains. The Beach Boys did a great song by that title many moons ago.
So I apologize to Sonny for the "Fresh Wince of Bad Air" shot. In fact, we need that wince…and we appreciate that "bad air". It makes for a better show.
Thus if you'll indulge me just a little longer, I will paraphrase a set of verses written by Bob Dylan in his tune "Dear Landlord", which appeared on his "John Wesley Harding" album back around 1968. It was the first album Dylan recorded after his now-famous motorcycle accident. In retrospect, this tune seems custom-made for the appreciation of a talent like Sunbutts':
Please don’t put a price on my soul
My burden is heavy
My dreams are beyond control
When that steamboat whistle blows
I’m gonna give you all I got to give
And I do hope you receive it well
Dependin’ on the way you feel that you live
Please heed these words that I speak
I know you’ve suffered much
But in this you are not so unique
All of us, at times, we might work too hard
To have it too fast and too much
And anyone can fill his life up
With things he can see but he just cannot touch
Please don’t dismiss my case
I’m not about to argue
I’m not about to move to no other place
Now, each of us has his own special gift
And you know this was meant to be true
And if you don’t underestimate me
I won’t underestimate you