Silence, Fools!!! Darren Sproles is Eagles PR/KR supreme…



Everybody talking about “oh the Eagles don’t have a good return man now that DJax is gone…”

Well, at least we have the stable brain of veteran poster PPW to put that nonsense into perspective—

To quote the great PPW— “Silence, you dolts!!!—we have Darren Sproles for that function now!! What is wrong with you people?”

PPW has a point—-beyond the obvious physical attributes of his cranium.

“We’ve got a bunch of options, so I’m excited about it,” special teams coach Dave Fipp told CSNPhilly.com. “I think it’s great. It’s better than having none.”

Damaris Johnson and DeSean Jackson each returned punts last season, with Johnson returning kickoffs as well.

But CSNPhilly.com noted that the Eagles ranked 25th in the NFL in kick return average last season (21.4) and 27th in punt return average (6.6).

“DeSean Jackson a year ago, there’s times he’s sucking wind because he’s playing a lot on offense and he’s thrown into a returner role, and maybe it’s hard at that moment,” Fipp told CSNPhilly.com. “So you have to look at the big picture. What’s he being asked to do? How many plays does he play in the game? All those things factor into it to some degree.”

Well “Boo Fecking Hoo”, says PPW— (with a humble bow to the great SonButts, who coined that phrase but has passed away after a still unexplained encounter with an Australian tourist in Sarasota), and PPW is adamant that Darren Sproles can step up as the secret weapon in the Eagles return game.

Andy Jasner of ESPN.com reckons that “the Eagles could use running back Darren Sproles or rookie wide receiver Josh Huff. There’s also running back Chris Polk or wide receiver Brad Smith.”

“And there’s time to figure this whole situation out.”

“Who’s the best?” Fipp told CSNPhilly.com. “How much energy is he going to have? But it’s who can do it the best, ultimately — who gets the ball out the farthest?”

Heck, even a jabronie fan like me knows Darren Sproles is gonna be the man on punt and kick returns. Why does the local and national media even bother with this mindless conjecture?

Listen to your inner PPW— Sproles is the answer, and the reason the Eagles went out and got him— Doesn’t anyone here remember laughter?— or the reason the Eagles once upon a time went out and got Brian Mitchell?

Please, do me a personal favor, and get in touch with your inner PPW— and until then, remain SILENT!!! (Mere mortals)…

Thomas Jackson

About Thomas Jackson

Jax Sports Media has been reporting on NFL teams in the mid-Atlantic region since 2006. Thomas Jackson is its senior writer. Tom started covering the Philadelphia Eagles for the MVN Network in 2007. In 2009 he joined the Bloguin Network. He now also covers the Baltimore Ravens.